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taylorgibbs Feb. 13th, 2009 05:36 pm)
taylorgibbs Feb. 13th, 2009 05:36 pm)WARNING/SUMMARY: Dark stuff, de-humanization. In the universe of our roleplay-writing group where this is being played out, SOME humans treat fandom characters brought to life (called clones) not very nicely, as second class citizens or worse, as animals/pets. Most do not. Gibbs and Tony, two men who think they're straight, suddenly wake up in this world, truly alive now and no longer just characters on a television show, and are forced to learn their way as clones in order to survive. They're also forced to face something the writers of the show had not allowed them to consider. Maybe they're not so straight after all.
*NOTE* This story is being co-written in roleplay back and forth format, not written for regular fan fic format, so if it reads a little odd in places, the authors really don't mind and hope any readers they may have don't much either. Thanks!
*NOTE2* Just to give something to visualize, the character of Thomas Hilton resembles actor Jeremy Piven.
"The young one? The one getting pierced?" Gibbs asked in a rush, reading the other man's eyes for the truth. It was worth it. It had to be. He needed that boy here. He needed to show that boy what compassion and care is. He nodded briefly, ignoring Tony's bluster. He was not gonna let DiNozzo dictate that boy's future. And if it took a kiss to get some concessions, Gibbs could fall into line damned easily.
He grabbed Tony's shirtfront, muscling him onto his back in the bed, jamming a leg between Tony's and pinning him in place with a hip before sliding his hands up to capture Tony's. He turned to look at Pee Wee. "You shoot on my floor, I'm making ya lick it up."
That said, he looked down into Tony's stormy green eyes, letting his close as he sealed his mouth on DiNozzo's, darting his tongue out to dip between Tony's lips. It was worth it. Saving that boy was worth it.
There was instant refusal followed a moment later by instant arousal. Even as he struggled to get free, he moaned with pleasure, one second clamping his mouth tightly shut to keep a disgusting male tongue away from him, the next second parting that mouth in surrender to the conquering invader.
"Bastard," he hissed up at Gibbs, though he was more angry with himself than with the other man when the kiss broke. "Get the hell off me! I'm not some ... some kissing-whore you can use to get what you want from that jerk!"
Tony refused to acknowledge that his struggles under the man were almost half-hearted and were only causing him to harden even more.
"Very, very nice," Thomas purred, not the sort of man to touch himself in front of others but definitely the sort of man to watch such a display with big shining eyes. "I'm sorry it took a bribe to make it happen, but under his protests he's definitely your whore. I'll get the kid DiNozzo ... somehow."
"And the two Gibbs' too!" Tony shouted, not about to go through such a revolting, body-self betraying thing and not be compensated too. If Gibbs was so intent on saving someone with Tony's face, Tony was going to save someone with Gibbs' face. Two someones.
That ought to rile, Boss, he thought to himself with a smirk.
"Second B, DiNozzo," Gibbs shot back, not moving. "You're hard again, DiNozzo. Just like you were when I was gonna toss you on the bed earlier. Just like you were when you were checking me out as you came. Don't think I didn't see you peel that curtain back and take a good long look." Gibbs rubbed his hip bone against Tony. "Might be a bastard but you're almost panting for it, Tony. Don't lie to yourself."
Gibbs pulled away, snickering. "The two guys that look like me too?" He met Pee Wee's eyes. "The kid is a dealbreaker. Got it?"
"I'm not hard! I wasn't checking you out!" Tony sputtered. "There was no peeling going on! And DiNozzos don't pant for anyone!" He whirled on Thomas, a dangerous glint in his eyes showing a man close to a point of no return. "You!" He wrapped a hand around PeeWee's throat and shoved him into the wall, ready to snap that weasly little neck just to prove that he was still a man, that his manhood had not been threatened and was very much on the straight and narrow where it had always been. "What didja do to him? You put us in that bed together! You set it all up! But what didja do to Gibbs?! What didja do TO ME?!"
"STAND DOWN, DINOZZO! You wanna be like that kid in the pound? If we kill him, that's where we end up!" Gibbs waited the beat of three seconds before breaking Tony's hold, throwing him in the bed. Gibbs had enough. There was a limit to what he'd take here and he'd hit his limit. "Settle down, dammit. Your masculinity and dick wars aren't worth my life. We've lost enough, don't you understand that?"
He turned to look at Pee Wee. He wouldn't ask if the man was okay but he did arch an eyebrow
"Always knew," Thomas said, choking as he tried to get his breath back, "there was a reason I liked you better, Gibbs." Or was it only because Thomas was dying to be under Gibbs one day? He'd screw Tony in a minute if he thought it would teach the man a lesson, but it was as the screwee with Gibbs he really wanted someday. Thomas was a top in his social world of men, but in his secret clone world he liked to play bottom to a very select type of clone.
"I understand I'm hungry," Tony growled and flew out the door. It had been nearly twenty-four hours since he'd last eaten. "There better be food here, PeeWee!"
"Why do you two keep calling me that?" Thomas was truly confused. Yes he was a bit on the short side, yes he wasn't muscular, he was lean and well-groomed as befitting, in his eyes, a man of his station. But PeeWee? He had long ago forgotten that the name would go down in history in relation to has-been child entertainers and porn theaters.
"Consider it a nickname," Gibbs growled, shaking his head. "Maybe you better put him up elsewhere," he said softly now, trying like hell to keep his own head on. He really wanted to be alone, lost in a haze of bourbon and his boat and his memories. "Yeah...I think he'd be better off someplace else, Pee Wee." Gibbs sighed one more time, changing slowly out of his bloodied NIS T-shirt and into one Abby'd bought him that said caffinate me. He studied himself in the mirror. Bruises were appearing all over his rib cage and there was a bad one right at his stomach. "Should have tensed," he muttered, pressing it gently and wincing at the pain.
Gibbs regarded Pee Wee for a long moment, wondering which of his creations he'd follow. "Going to the basement," he announced. "If there's food, call me. If not..." He shrugged. He didn't really care.
"You're going to break his heart .... and after everything you promised him." PeeWee couldn't believe it, but he'd be good to his word. If Gibbs didn't want Tony, he'd exert owner control and make Tony leave. It could prove very interesting anyways. Separate the men and see who cracked first. Being kicked out by Gibbs made him willing to bet yet another home of his that it would be DiNozzo first.
Tony did find food, plenty of easy to fix food so that he had a fair sized, though oddly mixed, meal on the table for he and Gibbs for dinner. That and fresh coffee. He called down to the basement when it was ready, his rumpled clothing fixed by then too, his hair combed and looking much more like himself now that PeeWee was out of his line of sight. That he was on borrowed time and should have been packing instead was going to blow his mind if Gibbs didn't want him anymore.
Gibbs just shrugged. He could do 'bastard' well. "Your slaves, your rules. I live to serve, master." He spat the words out before storming down to the basement, downing two jelly jars of bourbon, popping a couple of muscle relaxers he had there, and just brooding. Gibbs heard Tony call and hesitated for almost a few minutes before going upstairs.
"What d'ya want?" he asked softly, just staring, knowing his eyes probably reflected the desolation he was feeling. The reality of the situation had hit and hit hard. He couldn't drink it away and even mixing the meds and liquod--which should have knocked him on its ass--hadn't done the job. He was a little wobbly but he could still feel.
Dammit, he could still feel.
"Boss?" Tony definitely saw that desolation and ached to relieve it for the man, even if he knew he made a poor substitute for Shannon. Food? Hug? Blowjob?
BLOWJOB?!
Go back to food! Go back to food!
"Thought you might be hungry. D..Didn't wanna bother you down there," he stammered as he tried to wipe the image of falling to his knees and blowing the man out of his head. The basement was sacred territory. Tony wouldn't dare go down there uninvited. "PeeWee's gone. We could eat and watch the rest of the series. I'm feeling my inner masochist coming out," he tried to joke to lighten the mood. Having already worked out his anger about Gibbs on Gibbs, he was much calmer now with Thomas not around.
Gibbs shrugged. "If it makes you happy. We'll do whatever you want, DiNozzo. Didn't have to cook." Gibbs just stared at the other man, not reacting, just watching. "If it makes ya happy, Tony...."
He sat at the table but didn't make a move to collect any of the food on his plate, just stared at the table and began talking. "Built this table. With my own hands." He held his hands out, examining them. "Got the calluses, the scars. And none of it was real. Whose to say the food is real. Any of it. We're just puppets performing on Pee Wee's stage."
His second cocked his head. Gibbs was acting very strange, and it scared Tony more than he cared to admit. "Boss .... you want some pain killers? I found Tylenol." He pulled a small bottle out of his jeans pocket and placed it on the table. "Maybe a doctor should take a look at ya? I didn't break any bones, did I?" Tony placed food on the man's plate and put it right in front of him. "It's your table now. Yours .... just like I'm yours. Still got your six, Boss. We're not performing for him now." He took one of the man's hands in his own and squeezed it. "I'm real. You're not alone."
The tables were turning, and Tony was stepping up to the plate. He had to. If Gibbs cracked, Tony knew he'd crack right behind him.
"No painkillers. Took a couple muscle relaxers with a couple bourbon chasers." He gave Tony an ironic smile. "Didn't dull the pain though, DiNozzo. Didn't do a damn thing. Nothing broken...bones. Anyway..." He sighed, stroking the wood, looking at the food for a moment.
"Ya really think eating will make it better, DiNozzo? We're still slaves. Freedom out the door." Gibbs gently disengaged from Tony's hand and stood, going to the cabinet and finding an unopened bottle. "Ah, Mr, Daniels. You and I are gonna get real well acquainted later.' He cracked the seal and took one giant gulp before returning to the table and eating mechanically.
"If it makes ya happy, DiNozzo, I'll eat." But his heart wasn't in any of it.
"Gotta keep up our strength. Can't let'm win, Boss. That's what ya told me. Stay strong, right?" Tony sat opposite the man and pushed food around his plate, his ravenous appetite suddenly gone as he felt that thick despair rolling off the strongest man he knew right at him. "I think we should take off in the morning before he shows up again. Take our chances out there instead of in this guilded cage."
Tony had been sleeping during the conversation about work on the Naval Base in town. He didn't know yet that they had a chance to make a difference in doing pretty much the same thing as before if they were willing to trust Thomas just a little to help them.
Was it he who told Tony that? Or someone who put words into his mouth. Gibbs didn't know. But what Tony was saying shook Gibbs.
"Absolutely not. He's gotta have surveillance here. He knew both times....he knew to come in both times, Tony. Don't ya think he's willing to use us against each other to keep us in line? We're gonna get that kid. We're gonna be able to help him, Tony. A younger you...we can fix him."
He wasn't the only one they could fix but Gibbs had to spoon feed Tony the info.
He finished shoveling the food in and put the plates in the sink. "Den?" he asked in a soft, sad voice. He wanted to touch DiNozzo, even if it was just a headslap, just to ground himself, but he couldn't ask, so instead he curled his hands in fists and sighed, the pain in his body the only thing he was sure was real.
That soft, sad voice rocked the foundation of Tony's world, a foundation that was now made up of Gibbs and Gibbs alone. "Anything you say, Boss," he murmured and embraced the man, this time doing it without thinking because when he thought it only brought him trouble. "Anything you say."
Not that Tony was especially pleased about the idea of a younger version of himself running around being cared for by Gibbs. But Tony was a good man under his selfish exterior, and that good man in him extended to being willing to help the boy, heal him ..... and then send him on his way, as far away from Gibbs as can be.
Gibbs grunted, his sore ribs protesting even as his arms went around Tony. "Ah, DiNozzo," he said, sighing. "Don't ya let me drive you away, got it? Understand me?" He tipped his head back slightly, looking into Tony's eyes, wobbling a little as he watched those green eyes. He was sore, and exhausted, and a little drunk, and right now he didn't mind letting DiNozzo in.
"Same here, Boss. I know I'm not gonna be easy to live with, but don't ever leave me ... please."
Tony was completely sober and full of pent-up energy now. There was so much he wanted to do to prove to Gibbs, to himself, to the whole damn world that he was real, that there was nothing fictional about him, but first he wanted to watch the rest of the series, he wanted to see just what PeeWee and the world knew about their deepest darkest thoughts and desires.
Only a knock on the door could have pulled him out of those arms. "I'll get it," he sighed, surprise soon showing on his face when he opened it to see Thomas flanked by those men again. "Why do ya bother to knock when you're the zookeeper, Dr. Zaius?"
"Respect," Thomas said with a shrug. "If you two don't give me a reason to barge in here, I won't. Give me a reason, and I'll burn the place down and make you live in MY basement. Now get your things, you're coming with me, DiNozzo."
"Like hell I am." He started to close the door, but two burly arms swept out from behind Thomas and kept it open.
"Don't make this difficult. He wants you gone."
If ever Tony was going to have a heart attack, it was right then as he turned to look at Gibbs, heart pounding, mouth falling open in astonishment.
"Burn the place down," Gibbs said, speaking up. "Go ahead. Want me to start the blaze?" He looked at Tony, feeling completely lost now, losing his last hold on control. "Changed my mind. Want him. With me." He moved closer.
"But not in my house. Not if you're gonna hold the one thing I can hang onto over my head. You want to destroy it, go ahead. You trashed every other aspect of my life. Why not tear down the last fucking refuge I have? Sure it'll be someone's entertainment."
Gibbs grabbed the bottle of Jack, taking in a few more gulps, and then poured a small amount on the table. "Got a light, boys?"
"You sure about this?" Thomas could certainly afford the loss of his investment, but he wasn't so sure it was the right thing for his clones. "I can set you up in something else, something new .... no more memories surrounding you. Maybe," he pondered as he pulled out his cigarette lighter and tossed it to Gibbs, "it really is the best thing. Start over. I leave the choice to you."
Tony's mind was still grappling with something else. "You changed your mind? You told him to take me away? What did I do? It was hitting ya, wasn't it? Oh Christ, I crossed a line, didn't I?"
"The sooner you stop blaming me," Thomas continued, "the better. I didn't trash anything, Gibbs. I just gave you life. The house is yours to the extent that you hear me knocking and not just barging in here, but if you want to lose this last bit of your past other than Tony, fine with me. I can certainly take the loss on my books. Can you?"
"I don't want you to do a damn thing beyond getting that kid," Gibbs said quietly. "I don't have any goddamn expectations." All he wanted were Shan and Kel. For so long he'd held onto the fact that he'd see them again, somehow. That and his work and his team had kept him going for so long.
He flicker the lighter on, looking at the flame, dragging his finger in the Jack and bringing it tantalizingly close to the flickering heat. "Was planning on leaving with the house." Wouldn't be a loss, in his eyes. Would be peace.
He stood for a moment in time, torn in indecision, so different and yet so the same as when he tried to eat his gun.
"WHAT?!" Tony bellowed and tried to grapple for control of the lighter from the man he loved. "You lied to me! You sonofabitch you lied to me! You promised, a Marine's promise you wouldn't leave me and now ya wanna die?! Well fuck that! I'm not letting ya go and I'm not letting ya burn down your house! You need it, Gibbs! You need this place just like I need you!"
Tony didn't dare think that Gibbs might need Tony more than the house. He knew he was important to the man, but he felt quite sure that he would never be as important to him as those past memories of family.
Gibbs didn't fight Tony. He was drunk but he wasn't that far gone that he wanted to hurt the kid. He let Tony remove the lighter but spun back to old buddy Mr. Daniels and took a couple more healthy swallows.
"What I needed was gone, DiNozzo. Or never existed. Our lives are lies written by people like Pee Wee." Good friends like Fornell, Marine buddies he'd fought beside. The team. His wife and kid.
He stood, staring at Tony. He didn't know how the hell he felt about DiNozzo and Tony's moods were exhausting him. A part of him was screaming to protect Tony, while another part was asking Tony to keep an eye on him, that he needed a strong shoulder to lean on. And there was this dangerous dance they were doing and Tony's reactions and protestations.
"You wanna stay, you can stay," Gibbs finished quietly.
"I'll take a spare room," Tony said despite the screaming in his head telling him he should beg to stay in the main bedroom with the man. "And one of us needs to stay sober tonight, so I guess I'm designated driver .... or house-sitter as it may be." The lighter wasn't thrown back to Thomas. Tony pocketed it and sneered at the man still watching them. "Fuck off, PeeWee. You heard'm. I'm staying and there'll be no marshmellow roasting over the lies of our lives tonight."
The smaller man put up his arms, palm outward, as if in mock surrender. "Hey, I only came back because I thought it was what he wanted. He's tired of your crap and needs a real man to lean on now."
The handsome Weatherly face began to purple. "A real man? Like you, huh?"
Thomas laughed. "Well .... the thought did cross my mind."
"Uncross it! You're sure as hell not his type." Placing a protective arm around the Harmon's shoulder, he tried to steer Gibbs into the den, away from the lunacy PeeWee made them face.
Gibbs let out a small bark of laughter, digging in and stopping in his tracks. "I like redheads.Curvy. Rounded. Nice breasts. You don't fit the bill, Pee Wee." Neither do you, DiNozzo, he added silently. "Thanks for coming, Pee Wee. Next time, bring more Jack. A lot more Jack." With no freedom they didn't have money, with no money they couldn't buy anything. They were Pee Wee's human pets.
"And food, and...what the hell else we need, DiNozzo?" This was kinda nice, having Tony's arm around his shoulder. "The kid, Pee Wee...we need the kid." Fixing him would give Gibbs a purpose. "Don't forget the kid, got it?" Gibbs needed to help the boy.
"A housekeeper who can cook for us," Tony suggested with a fake leer, "brunette, blonde, red, I don't care, but someone with big tits and an ass you can bounce a nickel off and a face you can jack off to." Gibbs sure didn't fit his bill either, any woman in the world fit his bill better than Gibbs, though deep down inside he was just starting to have tiny doubts that were beginning to give him a big headache and worsened every time he touched the man. "The other two there too. Don't forget them either." Maybe his damn headache would go away if he had other men with Gibb's face and body around him, other men to take his mind off Boss.
"I'll do my best. I'm a Hilton and have a lot of sway, but there's even limits to what I can do," Thomas said as he turned and left them alone now. He wasn't sure how he was going to handle this. He'd already adopted two clones this month, the limit, and now he was supposed to adopt three more?
Ungrateful clones. They'd better start appreciating him more if he pulled this off!
"Nix the housekeeper." Gibbs didn't need some hardbody around leering after Tony, making him feel extra old. When Pee Wee left, Gibbs yanked Tony's arm, tugging him toward the den. Gibbs shoved Tony down on couch and sat at the other end, rooting around for the remote, handing it to Tony.
"Not Kate...if they show that, Tony....Not Kate."
If they showed Kate taking a bullet for him, standing up, uninjured, thanks to her vest, and then her head...the round going right through, there wasn't enough Jack in the world to take that away. Not Kate. Not Jenny. Another woman who had died protecting him...
Gibbs kicked off his shoes, then swung his legs onto the six foot couch, one foot carelessly resting on the fly of Tony's boxers. He was just drunk enough to press down slightly.
And with Tony being sober, he pretended to hold his nose as if the foot reeked as he turned on the player with his other hand on the remote. He squirmed a bit under the slight pressure, but he didn't move away. He couldn't. He was already sitting as far from Gibbs as he could get.
"Understood Boss. I could do without seeing Jeanne again ..... and Caitlin .... " Who he really wanted to see was Ziva and Abby. He even wanted to see Dr. Mallard and could admit to being pleased, in a sick sort of twisted way in knowing the truth now, to see McGee and Jimmy. From outside the team, Tony had no special yearnings for anyone. Dating and friends had given him a social life to hold around him as a shield, but the team had given him his life, his heart. "Hmmmm too bad we don't have popcorn," he said with a big false grin when the episode started. Once again, his warped sense of humor was badly timed.
"You want popcorn, go make some," Gibbs replied a little sourly, watching the screen, seeing all the times he smirked or smiled when he knew Tony wasn't watching. No wonder Pee Wee wanted a bond. He might have drawn the same conclusion if he was that interested in characters from a TV show. He winced a few times when his hand contacted extra hard with Tony's head.
"Miracle you don't have brain trauma," he muttered, flexing his foot a little. "Bother you watching this, DiNozzo?"
"No," the man immediately lied, biting his lip to bite back a moan from that flexing. Was Gibbs doing it on purpose? He couldn't be! No matter what PeeWee the Prick said or tried to manipulate with his tricks, Tony simply couldn't believe that Leroy Jethro Gibbs truly had a gay bone in his body. Oh he had a bone, that was for sure, Tony thought bitterly to himself in remembering the extra heavy size and shape of it, like a goddamned offering to the gods of porn. But it was all for the ladies. Especially redhead ladies, and that was fine with Anthony DiNozzo. Oh yeah fine. Oh yeah.
"Boss ...... " Tony had a few winces too at seeing how immature some of his stunts came off in trying to get the attention of the Marine. "I never .... all those times screwing around, I didn't mean anything by it." Tony didn't remember having told Gibbs just that when he'd been under the influence of that powerful sedative. That he was telling him now showed even more sincerity ... and maybe a touch of maturity too. "Just .... now that we're alone ... want you to know that. Respected you ... respected the job .... respected the team .... even McGree."
'Bothers me," Gibbs admitted. "Bothers me a hell of a lot to see me wacking you like that. Made sense at the time..." Gibbs sat up now, scooting close to Tony and mussed his hair, letting out a silent frustrated sigh when he realized that Tony winced when he came close.
"I know what you're doing when ya do it, DiNozzo. Team needs you." Needed! "Needs your personality and sense of humor," he continued. "Drives me crazy sometimes but I understand. You're damn good at you job, all aspects of it. Especially the stress relief."
He angled his head at Tony. "Wouldn't mind a goofy DiNozzo. In small doses."
"I'll keep that in mind." He shut off the player but continued fiddling with the remote, showing his extreme discomfort in general. "Truth is, I liked it when you wacked me. Sure isn't any secret anymore I've got .... issues. But what about the white elephant in the room, Boss? Holy hell are we just gonna ignore the biggest issue of all? We were made for one reason ..... and as hard as it is to admit it, I can see why now after watching all that. How can we go back to what we had .... knowing what so many people think about us and what PeeWee wants us to do to prove it?"
Whether Gibbs had the right answer or the wrong answer, Tony didn't care. He just wanted orders, he wanted to be told what to do. He would give the man his trust and faith again to lead them, and in that he would find a reason to live.
Gibbs shrugged. "we can;t go back to who we were. Evidence tells us we weren't who we were, doesn't it?" He sighed, staring at the ground, absorbing Tony's body heat. "See what he saw too. I watch you a lot. And you need my approval and sometimes it goes way beyond boss and subordinate."
Gibbs sighed, getting up ands grabbing a chair, pulling it close so he could look Tony eye to eye. "Wanna start talking about white elephants. How about you watching me while you jacked off. How about you getting hard cuddled up to me. Like it or not, DiNozzo...." He trailed off. They both knew what he was saying.
"There's some kind of...hinky...connection here. Just gotta decide what we're doing about it."
Gibbs was careful not to give his opinions, share what he was feeling, how hard he was even though he was buzzed.
With the man sitting in a chair right in front of him now, it was impossible not to notice what was going on under his belt. His own responded in kind, but Tony nervously licked his lips and tried one more time to explain it away, to make some sort of sense of it. "Well of course you watched me, Boss, I was your favorite goofball," he said weakly with a lame attempt at trying to make a silly face, an attempt that felt flat even to him. "And we were friends, right? I mean not all buddy like Starsky and Hutch, maybe more like Han and Luke so that would go beyond boss and subordinate ...... and on the cuddling." He grimaced, shuddering just to think about it again. "Rational explanation. You were Miss Wyoming." True. But Miss Wyoming wasn't there now, and Tony's groin was tightening even more as he began to fidget in his seat and lick his lips again. He deliberately didn't try to rationalize the bathroom incident. How could he? There was no rational reason, no possible excuse he could think of, to why he'd been watching Gibbs when he'd spanked the monkey. "The connection is here, Boss." His hand trembling slightly, he reached over and did to Gibbs what Gibbs had done so perfectly to him earlier that day. He rubbed his thumb across the man's wrist and looked him deeply in the eyes. "We watch out for each other. We're still a team."
The wrist soothing by Gibbs had helped calm Tony at times, but the one time Gibbs had pressed his finger behind Tony's ear and did it there, it had seriously aroused him under that terror. It was why he wasn't doing it to Gibbs now, just in case his superior suffered from the same erogenous zone he did when touched.
"Miss Wyoming wasn't in the bathroom," Gibbs said in little more than a whisper. "It's me, Tony." He started breathing a little more shallowly when Tony touched his wrist and blinked his eyes closed once. He could blame this on alcohol but his metabolism sucked the stuff up. He was barely buzzed. And he wanted this so badly right now. He leaned in, bringing his own thumb behind Tony's ear and drawing circles and figure eights there.
"Tell me you're not hard and aching and I'll stop. Tell me you weren't watching the way I watched you on the show. Tell me...tell me you don't want me, and I'll stop." His other hand drifted to Tony's fly, fingertip gently tracing over the swollen flesh. "Tell me this isn't for me and I'll walk away. But tell the truth, DiNozzo. Tell the truth."
LIE! Tony tried to order himself to lie his lying little heart out, but when Gibbs touched behind his ear again, he knew he was lost. He knew it had to be the truth this time; the white elephant had to be faced ... and hopefully shot and stuffed!
"Why?" he whimpered, his legs opening more and his face turning into the man's hand to touch lips to it. "If this is really us ..... what we really always wanted .... why didn't they let us?" More precisely, because they didn't let us follow our instincts in the show, now it's killing us to face them now.
Or at least it was killing Tony, a die hard ladies man where picking up women was an olympic event to him. How could he possibly adjust to finding pleasure with someone who didn't have tits? And then there was the whole top and bottom thing to consider. The thought of spreading his cheeks for any man made him seriously ill, and he sure didn't see Gibbs spreading for him! But when Gibbs added more touch to him below, Tony knew his fears were foundless. He'd bend alright. He'd bend into a pretzel if Gibbs wanted, but only for Gibbs.
"Don't have that answer, DiNozzo," Gibbs said. When Tony turned his head, pressing his mouth against Gibbs' hand, he knew...he knew. This overwhelming rush of emotion hit him so hard he almost fell off the chair. "Three ex-wives... I don't know why. But I know what I want and what I need and from what I'm feeling here..." Gibbs gave Tony a very gentle squeeze. "You want me just as much as I want you.
Gibbs took that hand and stood, pulling Tony gently to his feet. "Been a long day. We're gonna go upstairs, we're gonna get as comfortable as we want to be. Sweats...or nothing at all. Then we crawl into bed--my bed--and play it by ear. Whatever happens happens. Doesn't change us. We're still Gibbs and DiNozzo, not any less male than we were yesterday."
He licked his lips, watching Tony for any sign of a reaction, fantasizing about sliding between those lips, about drugging kisses and green eyes hazy with lust.
"Can't deny it, Tony. I want you..."
(TBC)
*NOTE* This story is being co-written in roleplay back and forth format, not written for regular fan fic format, so if it reads a little odd in places, the authors really don't mind and hope any readers they may have don't much either. Thanks!
*NOTE2* Just to give something to visualize, the character of Thomas Hilton resembles actor Jeremy Piven.
"The young one? The one getting pierced?" Gibbs asked in a rush, reading the other man's eyes for the truth. It was worth it. It had to be. He needed that boy here. He needed to show that boy what compassion and care is. He nodded briefly, ignoring Tony's bluster. He was not gonna let DiNozzo dictate that boy's future. And if it took a kiss to get some concessions, Gibbs could fall into line damned easily.
He grabbed Tony's shirtfront, muscling him onto his back in the bed, jamming a leg between Tony's and pinning him in place with a hip before sliding his hands up to capture Tony's. He turned to look at Pee Wee. "You shoot on my floor, I'm making ya lick it up."
That said, he looked down into Tony's stormy green eyes, letting his close as he sealed his mouth on DiNozzo's, darting his tongue out to dip between Tony's lips. It was worth it. Saving that boy was worth it.
There was instant refusal followed a moment later by instant arousal. Even as he struggled to get free, he moaned with pleasure, one second clamping his mouth tightly shut to keep a disgusting male tongue away from him, the next second parting that mouth in surrender to the conquering invader.
"Bastard," he hissed up at Gibbs, though he was more angry with himself than with the other man when the kiss broke. "Get the hell off me! I'm not some ... some kissing-whore you can use to get what you want from that jerk!"
Tony refused to acknowledge that his struggles under the man were almost half-hearted and were only causing him to harden even more.
"Very, very nice," Thomas purred, not the sort of man to touch himself in front of others but definitely the sort of man to watch such a display with big shining eyes. "I'm sorry it took a bribe to make it happen, but under his protests he's definitely your whore. I'll get the kid DiNozzo ... somehow."
"And the two Gibbs' too!" Tony shouted, not about to go through such a revolting, body-self betraying thing and not be compensated too. If Gibbs was so intent on saving someone with Tony's face, Tony was going to save someone with Gibbs' face. Two someones.
That ought to rile, Boss, he thought to himself with a smirk.
"Second B, DiNozzo," Gibbs shot back, not moving. "You're hard again, DiNozzo. Just like you were when I was gonna toss you on the bed earlier. Just like you were when you were checking me out as you came. Don't think I didn't see you peel that curtain back and take a good long look." Gibbs rubbed his hip bone against Tony. "Might be a bastard but you're almost panting for it, Tony. Don't lie to yourself."
Gibbs pulled away, snickering. "The two guys that look like me too?" He met Pee Wee's eyes. "The kid is a dealbreaker. Got it?"
"I'm not hard! I wasn't checking you out!" Tony sputtered. "There was no peeling going on! And DiNozzos don't pant for anyone!" He whirled on Thomas, a dangerous glint in his eyes showing a man close to a point of no return. "You!" He wrapped a hand around PeeWee's throat and shoved him into the wall, ready to snap that weasly little neck just to prove that he was still a man, that his manhood had not been threatened and was very much on the straight and narrow where it had always been. "What didja do to him? You put us in that bed together! You set it all up! But what didja do to Gibbs?! What didja do TO ME?!"
"STAND DOWN, DINOZZO! You wanna be like that kid in the pound? If we kill him, that's where we end up!" Gibbs waited the beat of three seconds before breaking Tony's hold, throwing him in the bed. Gibbs had enough. There was a limit to what he'd take here and he'd hit his limit. "Settle down, dammit. Your masculinity and dick wars aren't worth my life. We've lost enough, don't you understand that?"
He turned to look at Pee Wee. He wouldn't ask if the man was okay but he did arch an eyebrow
"Always knew," Thomas said, choking as he tried to get his breath back, "there was a reason I liked you better, Gibbs." Or was it only because Thomas was dying to be under Gibbs one day? He'd screw Tony in a minute if he thought it would teach the man a lesson, but it was as the screwee with Gibbs he really wanted someday. Thomas was a top in his social world of men, but in his secret clone world he liked to play bottom to a very select type of clone.
"I understand I'm hungry," Tony growled and flew out the door. It had been nearly twenty-four hours since he'd last eaten. "There better be food here, PeeWee!"
"Why do you two keep calling me that?" Thomas was truly confused. Yes he was a bit on the short side, yes he wasn't muscular, he was lean and well-groomed as befitting, in his eyes, a man of his station. But PeeWee? He had long ago forgotten that the name would go down in history in relation to has-been child entertainers and porn theaters.
"Consider it a nickname," Gibbs growled, shaking his head. "Maybe you better put him up elsewhere," he said softly now, trying like hell to keep his own head on. He really wanted to be alone, lost in a haze of bourbon and his boat and his memories. "Yeah...I think he'd be better off someplace else, Pee Wee." Gibbs sighed one more time, changing slowly out of his bloodied NIS T-shirt and into one Abby'd bought him that said caffinate me. He studied himself in the mirror. Bruises were appearing all over his rib cage and there was a bad one right at his stomach. "Should have tensed," he muttered, pressing it gently and wincing at the pain.
Gibbs regarded Pee Wee for a long moment, wondering which of his creations he'd follow. "Going to the basement," he announced. "If there's food, call me. If not..." He shrugged. He didn't really care.
"You're going to break his heart .... and after everything you promised him." PeeWee couldn't believe it, but he'd be good to his word. If Gibbs didn't want Tony, he'd exert owner control and make Tony leave. It could prove very interesting anyways. Separate the men and see who cracked first. Being kicked out by Gibbs made him willing to bet yet another home of his that it would be DiNozzo first.
Tony did find food, plenty of easy to fix food so that he had a fair sized, though oddly mixed, meal on the table for he and Gibbs for dinner. That and fresh coffee. He called down to the basement when it was ready, his rumpled clothing fixed by then too, his hair combed and looking much more like himself now that PeeWee was out of his line of sight. That he was on borrowed time and should have been packing instead was going to blow his mind if Gibbs didn't want him anymore.
Gibbs just shrugged. He could do 'bastard' well. "Your slaves, your rules. I live to serve, master." He spat the words out before storming down to the basement, downing two jelly jars of bourbon, popping a couple of muscle relaxers he had there, and just brooding. Gibbs heard Tony call and hesitated for almost a few minutes before going upstairs.
"What d'ya want?" he asked softly, just staring, knowing his eyes probably reflected the desolation he was feeling. The reality of the situation had hit and hit hard. He couldn't drink it away and even mixing the meds and liquod--which should have knocked him on its ass--hadn't done the job. He was a little wobbly but he could still feel.
Dammit, he could still feel.
"Boss?" Tony definitely saw that desolation and ached to relieve it for the man, even if he knew he made a poor substitute for Shannon. Food? Hug? Blowjob?
BLOWJOB?!
Go back to food! Go back to food!
"Thought you might be hungry. D..Didn't wanna bother you down there," he stammered as he tried to wipe the image of falling to his knees and blowing the man out of his head. The basement was sacred territory. Tony wouldn't dare go down there uninvited. "PeeWee's gone. We could eat and watch the rest of the series. I'm feeling my inner masochist coming out," he tried to joke to lighten the mood. Having already worked out his anger about Gibbs on Gibbs, he was much calmer now with Thomas not around.
Gibbs shrugged. "If it makes you happy. We'll do whatever you want, DiNozzo. Didn't have to cook." Gibbs just stared at the other man, not reacting, just watching. "If it makes ya happy, Tony...."
He sat at the table but didn't make a move to collect any of the food on his plate, just stared at the table and began talking. "Built this table. With my own hands." He held his hands out, examining them. "Got the calluses, the scars. And none of it was real. Whose to say the food is real. Any of it. We're just puppets performing on Pee Wee's stage."
His second cocked his head. Gibbs was acting very strange, and it scared Tony more than he cared to admit. "Boss .... you want some pain killers? I found Tylenol." He pulled a small bottle out of his jeans pocket and placed it on the table. "Maybe a doctor should take a look at ya? I didn't break any bones, did I?" Tony placed food on the man's plate and put it right in front of him. "It's your table now. Yours .... just like I'm yours. Still got your six, Boss. We're not performing for him now." He took one of the man's hands in his own and squeezed it. "I'm real. You're not alone."
The tables were turning, and Tony was stepping up to the plate. He had to. If Gibbs cracked, Tony knew he'd crack right behind him.
"No painkillers. Took a couple muscle relaxers with a couple bourbon chasers." He gave Tony an ironic smile. "Didn't dull the pain though, DiNozzo. Didn't do a damn thing. Nothing broken...bones. Anyway..." He sighed, stroking the wood, looking at the food for a moment.
"Ya really think eating will make it better, DiNozzo? We're still slaves. Freedom out the door." Gibbs gently disengaged from Tony's hand and stood, going to the cabinet and finding an unopened bottle. "Ah, Mr, Daniels. You and I are gonna get real well acquainted later.' He cracked the seal and took one giant gulp before returning to the table and eating mechanically.
"If it makes ya happy, DiNozzo, I'll eat." But his heart wasn't in any of it.
"Gotta keep up our strength. Can't let'm win, Boss. That's what ya told me. Stay strong, right?" Tony sat opposite the man and pushed food around his plate, his ravenous appetite suddenly gone as he felt that thick despair rolling off the strongest man he knew right at him. "I think we should take off in the morning before he shows up again. Take our chances out there instead of in this guilded cage."
Tony had been sleeping during the conversation about work on the Naval Base in town. He didn't know yet that they had a chance to make a difference in doing pretty much the same thing as before if they were willing to trust Thomas just a little to help them.
Was it he who told Tony that? Or someone who put words into his mouth. Gibbs didn't know. But what Tony was saying shook Gibbs.
"Absolutely not. He's gotta have surveillance here. He knew both times....he knew to come in both times, Tony. Don't ya think he's willing to use us against each other to keep us in line? We're gonna get that kid. We're gonna be able to help him, Tony. A younger you...we can fix him."
He wasn't the only one they could fix but Gibbs had to spoon feed Tony the info.
He finished shoveling the food in and put the plates in the sink. "Den?" he asked in a soft, sad voice. He wanted to touch DiNozzo, even if it was just a headslap, just to ground himself, but he couldn't ask, so instead he curled his hands in fists and sighed, the pain in his body the only thing he was sure was real.
That soft, sad voice rocked the foundation of Tony's world, a foundation that was now made up of Gibbs and Gibbs alone. "Anything you say, Boss," he murmured and embraced the man, this time doing it without thinking because when he thought it only brought him trouble. "Anything you say."
Not that Tony was especially pleased about the idea of a younger version of himself running around being cared for by Gibbs. But Tony was a good man under his selfish exterior, and that good man in him extended to being willing to help the boy, heal him ..... and then send him on his way, as far away from Gibbs as can be.
Gibbs grunted, his sore ribs protesting even as his arms went around Tony. "Ah, DiNozzo," he said, sighing. "Don't ya let me drive you away, got it? Understand me?" He tipped his head back slightly, looking into Tony's eyes, wobbling a little as he watched those green eyes. He was sore, and exhausted, and a little drunk, and right now he didn't mind letting DiNozzo in.
"Same here, Boss. I know I'm not gonna be easy to live with, but don't ever leave me ... please."
Tony was completely sober and full of pent-up energy now. There was so much he wanted to do to prove to Gibbs, to himself, to the whole damn world that he was real, that there was nothing fictional about him, but first he wanted to watch the rest of the series, he wanted to see just what PeeWee and the world knew about their deepest darkest thoughts and desires.
Only a knock on the door could have pulled him out of those arms. "I'll get it," he sighed, surprise soon showing on his face when he opened it to see Thomas flanked by those men again. "Why do ya bother to knock when you're the zookeeper, Dr. Zaius?"
"Respect," Thomas said with a shrug. "If you two don't give me a reason to barge in here, I won't. Give me a reason, and I'll burn the place down and make you live in MY basement. Now get your things, you're coming with me, DiNozzo."
"Like hell I am." He started to close the door, but two burly arms swept out from behind Thomas and kept it open.
"Don't make this difficult. He wants you gone."
If ever Tony was going to have a heart attack, it was right then as he turned to look at Gibbs, heart pounding, mouth falling open in astonishment.
"Burn the place down," Gibbs said, speaking up. "Go ahead. Want me to start the blaze?" He looked at Tony, feeling completely lost now, losing his last hold on control. "Changed my mind. Want him. With me." He moved closer.
"But not in my house. Not if you're gonna hold the one thing I can hang onto over my head. You want to destroy it, go ahead. You trashed every other aspect of my life. Why not tear down the last fucking refuge I have? Sure it'll be someone's entertainment."
Gibbs grabbed the bottle of Jack, taking in a few more gulps, and then poured a small amount on the table. "Got a light, boys?"
"You sure about this?" Thomas could certainly afford the loss of his investment, but he wasn't so sure it was the right thing for his clones. "I can set you up in something else, something new .... no more memories surrounding you. Maybe," he pondered as he pulled out his cigarette lighter and tossed it to Gibbs, "it really is the best thing. Start over. I leave the choice to you."
Tony's mind was still grappling with something else. "You changed your mind? You told him to take me away? What did I do? It was hitting ya, wasn't it? Oh Christ, I crossed a line, didn't I?"
"The sooner you stop blaming me," Thomas continued, "the better. I didn't trash anything, Gibbs. I just gave you life. The house is yours to the extent that you hear me knocking and not just barging in here, but if you want to lose this last bit of your past other than Tony, fine with me. I can certainly take the loss on my books. Can you?"
"I don't want you to do a damn thing beyond getting that kid," Gibbs said quietly. "I don't have any goddamn expectations." All he wanted were Shan and Kel. For so long he'd held onto the fact that he'd see them again, somehow. That and his work and his team had kept him going for so long.
He flicker the lighter on, looking at the flame, dragging his finger in the Jack and bringing it tantalizingly close to the flickering heat. "Was planning on leaving with the house." Wouldn't be a loss, in his eyes. Would be peace.
He stood for a moment in time, torn in indecision, so different and yet so the same as when he tried to eat his gun.
"WHAT?!" Tony bellowed and tried to grapple for control of the lighter from the man he loved. "You lied to me! You sonofabitch you lied to me! You promised, a Marine's promise you wouldn't leave me and now ya wanna die?! Well fuck that! I'm not letting ya go and I'm not letting ya burn down your house! You need it, Gibbs! You need this place just like I need you!"
Tony didn't dare think that Gibbs might need Tony more than the house. He knew he was important to the man, but he felt quite sure that he would never be as important to him as those past memories of family.
Gibbs didn't fight Tony. He was drunk but he wasn't that far gone that he wanted to hurt the kid. He let Tony remove the lighter but spun back to old buddy Mr. Daniels and took a couple more healthy swallows.
"What I needed was gone, DiNozzo. Or never existed. Our lives are lies written by people like Pee Wee." Good friends like Fornell, Marine buddies he'd fought beside. The team. His wife and kid.
He stood, staring at Tony. He didn't know how the hell he felt about DiNozzo and Tony's moods were exhausting him. A part of him was screaming to protect Tony, while another part was asking Tony to keep an eye on him, that he needed a strong shoulder to lean on. And there was this dangerous dance they were doing and Tony's reactions and protestations.
"You wanna stay, you can stay," Gibbs finished quietly.
"I'll take a spare room," Tony said despite the screaming in his head telling him he should beg to stay in the main bedroom with the man. "And one of us needs to stay sober tonight, so I guess I'm designated driver .... or house-sitter as it may be." The lighter wasn't thrown back to Thomas. Tony pocketed it and sneered at the man still watching them. "Fuck off, PeeWee. You heard'm. I'm staying and there'll be no marshmellow roasting over the lies of our lives tonight."
The smaller man put up his arms, palm outward, as if in mock surrender. "Hey, I only came back because I thought it was what he wanted. He's tired of your crap and needs a real man to lean on now."
The handsome Weatherly face began to purple. "A real man? Like you, huh?"
Thomas laughed. "Well .... the thought did cross my mind."
"Uncross it! You're sure as hell not his type." Placing a protective arm around the Harmon's shoulder, he tried to steer Gibbs into the den, away from the lunacy PeeWee made them face.
Gibbs let out a small bark of laughter, digging in and stopping in his tracks. "I like redheads.Curvy. Rounded. Nice breasts. You don't fit the bill, Pee Wee." Neither do you, DiNozzo, he added silently. "Thanks for coming, Pee Wee. Next time, bring more Jack. A lot more Jack." With no freedom they didn't have money, with no money they couldn't buy anything. They were Pee Wee's human pets.
"And food, and...what the hell else we need, DiNozzo?" This was kinda nice, having Tony's arm around his shoulder. "The kid, Pee Wee...we need the kid." Fixing him would give Gibbs a purpose. "Don't forget the kid, got it?" Gibbs needed to help the boy.
"A housekeeper who can cook for us," Tony suggested with a fake leer, "brunette, blonde, red, I don't care, but someone with big tits and an ass you can bounce a nickel off and a face you can jack off to." Gibbs sure didn't fit his bill either, any woman in the world fit his bill better than Gibbs, though deep down inside he was just starting to have tiny doubts that were beginning to give him a big headache and worsened every time he touched the man. "The other two there too. Don't forget them either." Maybe his damn headache would go away if he had other men with Gibb's face and body around him, other men to take his mind off Boss.
"I'll do my best. I'm a Hilton and have a lot of sway, but there's even limits to what I can do," Thomas said as he turned and left them alone now. He wasn't sure how he was going to handle this. He'd already adopted two clones this month, the limit, and now he was supposed to adopt three more?
Ungrateful clones. They'd better start appreciating him more if he pulled this off!
"Nix the housekeeper." Gibbs didn't need some hardbody around leering after Tony, making him feel extra old. When Pee Wee left, Gibbs yanked Tony's arm, tugging him toward the den. Gibbs shoved Tony down on couch and sat at the other end, rooting around for the remote, handing it to Tony.
"Not Kate...if they show that, Tony....Not Kate."
If they showed Kate taking a bullet for him, standing up, uninjured, thanks to her vest, and then her head...the round going right through, there wasn't enough Jack in the world to take that away. Not Kate. Not Jenny. Another woman who had died protecting him...
Gibbs kicked off his shoes, then swung his legs onto the six foot couch, one foot carelessly resting on the fly of Tony's boxers. He was just drunk enough to press down slightly.
And with Tony being sober, he pretended to hold his nose as if the foot reeked as he turned on the player with his other hand on the remote. He squirmed a bit under the slight pressure, but he didn't move away. He couldn't. He was already sitting as far from Gibbs as he could get.
"Understood Boss. I could do without seeing Jeanne again ..... and Caitlin .... " Who he really wanted to see was Ziva and Abby. He even wanted to see Dr. Mallard and could admit to being pleased, in a sick sort of twisted way in knowing the truth now, to see McGee and Jimmy. From outside the team, Tony had no special yearnings for anyone. Dating and friends had given him a social life to hold around him as a shield, but the team had given him his life, his heart. "Hmmmm too bad we don't have popcorn," he said with a big false grin when the episode started. Once again, his warped sense of humor was badly timed.
"You want popcorn, go make some," Gibbs replied a little sourly, watching the screen, seeing all the times he smirked or smiled when he knew Tony wasn't watching. No wonder Pee Wee wanted a bond. He might have drawn the same conclusion if he was that interested in characters from a TV show. He winced a few times when his hand contacted extra hard with Tony's head.
"Miracle you don't have brain trauma," he muttered, flexing his foot a little. "Bother you watching this, DiNozzo?"
"No," the man immediately lied, biting his lip to bite back a moan from that flexing. Was Gibbs doing it on purpose? He couldn't be! No matter what PeeWee the Prick said or tried to manipulate with his tricks, Tony simply couldn't believe that Leroy Jethro Gibbs truly had a gay bone in his body. Oh he had a bone, that was for sure, Tony thought bitterly to himself in remembering the extra heavy size and shape of it, like a goddamned offering to the gods of porn. But it was all for the ladies. Especially redhead ladies, and that was fine with Anthony DiNozzo. Oh yeah fine. Oh yeah.
"Boss ...... " Tony had a few winces too at seeing how immature some of his stunts came off in trying to get the attention of the Marine. "I never .... all those times screwing around, I didn't mean anything by it." Tony didn't remember having told Gibbs just that when he'd been under the influence of that powerful sedative. That he was telling him now showed even more sincerity ... and maybe a touch of maturity too. "Just .... now that we're alone ... want you to know that. Respected you ... respected the job .... respected the team .... even McGree."
'Bothers me," Gibbs admitted. "Bothers me a hell of a lot to see me wacking you like that. Made sense at the time..." Gibbs sat up now, scooting close to Tony and mussed his hair, letting out a silent frustrated sigh when he realized that Tony winced when he came close.
"I know what you're doing when ya do it, DiNozzo. Team needs you." Needed! "Needs your personality and sense of humor," he continued. "Drives me crazy sometimes but I understand. You're damn good at you job, all aspects of it. Especially the stress relief."
He angled his head at Tony. "Wouldn't mind a goofy DiNozzo. In small doses."
"I'll keep that in mind." He shut off the player but continued fiddling with the remote, showing his extreme discomfort in general. "Truth is, I liked it when you wacked me. Sure isn't any secret anymore I've got .... issues. But what about the white elephant in the room, Boss? Holy hell are we just gonna ignore the biggest issue of all? We were made for one reason ..... and as hard as it is to admit it, I can see why now after watching all that. How can we go back to what we had .... knowing what so many people think about us and what PeeWee wants us to do to prove it?"
Whether Gibbs had the right answer or the wrong answer, Tony didn't care. He just wanted orders, he wanted to be told what to do. He would give the man his trust and faith again to lead them, and in that he would find a reason to live.
Gibbs shrugged. "we can;t go back to who we were. Evidence tells us we weren't who we were, doesn't it?" He sighed, staring at the ground, absorbing Tony's body heat. "See what he saw too. I watch you a lot. And you need my approval and sometimes it goes way beyond boss and subordinate."
Gibbs sighed, getting up ands grabbing a chair, pulling it close so he could look Tony eye to eye. "Wanna start talking about white elephants. How about you watching me while you jacked off. How about you getting hard cuddled up to me. Like it or not, DiNozzo...." He trailed off. They both knew what he was saying.
"There's some kind of...hinky...connection here. Just gotta decide what we're doing about it."
Gibbs was careful not to give his opinions, share what he was feeling, how hard he was even though he was buzzed.
With the man sitting in a chair right in front of him now, it was impossible not to notice what was going on under his belt. His own responded in kind, but Tony nervously licked his lips and tried one more time to explain it away, to make some sort of sense of it. "Well of course you watched me, Boss, I was your favorite goofball," he said weakly with a lame attempt at trying to make a silly face, an attempt that felt flat even to him. "And we were friends, right? I mean not all buddy like Starsky and Hutch, maybe more like Han and Luke so that would go beyond boss and subordinate ...... and on the cuddling." He grimaced, shuddering just to think about it again. "Rational explanation. You were Miss Wyoming." True. But Miss Wyoming wasn't there now, and Tony's groin was tightening even more as he began to fidget in his seat and lick his lips again. He deliberately didn't try to rationalize the bathroom incident. How could he? There was no rational reason, no possible excuse he could think of, to why he'd been watching Gibbs when he'd spanked the monkey. "The connection is here, Boss." His hand trembling slightly, he reached over and did to Gibbs what Gibbs had done so perfectly to him earlier that day. He rubbed his thumb across the man's wrist and looked him deeply in the eyes. "We watch out for each other. We're still a team."
The wrist soothing by Gibbs had helped calm Tony at times, but the one time Gibbs had pressed his finger behind Tony's ear and did it there, it had seriously aroused him under that terror. It was why he wasn't doing it to Gibbs now, just in case his superior suffered from the same erogenous zone he did when touched.
"Miss Wyoming wasn't in the bathroom," Gibbs said in little more than a whisper. "It's me, Tony." He started breathing a little more shallowly when Tony touched his wrist and blinked his eyes closed once. He could blame this on alcohol but his metabolism sucked the stuff up. He was barely buzzed. And he wanted this so badly right now. He leaned in, bringing his own thumb behind Tony's ear and drawing circles and figure eights there.
"Tell me you're not hard and aching and I'll stop. Tell me you weren't watching the way I watched you on the show. Tell me...tell me you don't want me, and I'll stop." His other hand drifted to Tony's fly, fingertip gently tracing over the swollen flesh. "Tell me this isn't for me and I'll walk away. But tell the truth, DiNozzo. Tell the truth."
LIE! Tony tried to order himself to lie his lying little heart out, but when Gibbs touched behind his ear again, he knew he was lost. He knew it had to be the truth this time; the white elephant had to be faced ... and hopefully shot and stuffed!
"Why?" he whimpered, his legs opening more and his face turning into the man's hand to touch lips to it. "If this is really us ..... what we really always wanted .... why didn't they let us?" More precisely, because they didn't let us follow our instincts in the show, now it's killing us to face them now.
Or at least it was killing Tony, a die hard ladies man where picking up women was an olympic event to him. How could he possibly adjust to finding pleasure with someone who didn't have tits? And then there was the whole top and bottom thing to consider. The thought of spreading his cheeks for any man made him seriously ill, and he sure didn't see Gibbs spreading for him! But when Gibbs added more touch to him below, Tony knew his fears were foundless. He'd bend alright. He'd bend into a pretzel if Gibbs wanted, but only for Gibbs.
"Don't have that answer, DiNozzo," Gibbs said. When Tony turned his head, pressing his mouth against Gibbs' hand, he knew...he knew. This overwhelming rush of emotion hit him so hard he almost fell off the chair. "Three ex-wives... I don't know why. But I know what I want and what I need and from what I'm feeling here..." Gibbs gave Tony a very gentle squeeze. "You want me just as much as I want you.
Gibbs took that hand and stood, pulling Tony gently to his feet. "Been a long day. We're gonna go upstairs, we're gonna get as comfortable as we want to be. Sweats...or nothing at all. Then we crawl into bed--my bed--and play it by ear. Whatever happens happens. Doesn't change us. We're still Gibbs and DiNozzo, not any less male than we were yesterday."
He licked his lips, watching Tony for any sign of a reaction, fantasizing about sliding between those lips, about drugging kisses and green eyes hazy with lust.
"Can't deny it, Tony. I want you..."
(TBC)